FALSE DOCTRINE: Mandatory ‘Discipling’ Partners
The idea of mandatory ‘discipling’ partners is as follows: In order for someone to be a member of a church that teaches this practice, one must have a another person (from that particular church) in his or her life who is his or her spiritual mentor. Further, it is usually taught that having a mandatory discipling partners is the only real way to have everyone in the church truly obeying the one another passages. I believe that the root of this practice of ‘mandatory discipling partners’ is a view of people derived from the following passage:
Jer 17:9 (HCSB)
9 The heart is more deceitful than anything else and desperately sick—who can understand it?
I believe that teaching that everyone needs a discipling partner stems from the view that everyone’s heart is more deceitful than anything else and desperately sick. From this passage, it is stressed that one cannot trust his or her own heart and therefore it is necessary for everyone to be held accountable by his or her spiritual mentor. Further, it is taught as a core doctrine, that getting advice about just about everything is necessary for one to stay in God’s will. Proverbs are used to support this idea:
Prov 15:22 (HCSB)
22 Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
It is stressed that if one doesn’t get advice from his or her discipling partner, one is told that he or she is prideful, independent and rebellious. Sometimes, in an extreme church, if someone gets advice from someone other than his or her discipling partner, he or she is told that he or she is ‘advice shopping’, even though the proverbs passage above says that ‘with many advisers plans succeed’.)
The passage that is used to support the actual practice of ‘mandatory discipling partners’ is following passage:
Matt 28:16-20 (HCSB)
16 The 11 disciples traveled to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had directed them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped, but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Many times, when churches who teach this study the Bible with new converts, it will be stressed that verse 20 means that a true disciple of Jesus is willing to be taught how to obey. Further, ‘teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you’ is taught to mean that everyone needs to be held accountable so that he or she will obey.
Many churches nowadays mandate that everyone in the church have a discipling partner but say that if one doesn’t agree to the methodology, they are free to go to another church where they will feel more comfortable.
Refutation of this teaching:
The biggest problem with this teaching or methodology is that in cases where ‘discipling partners’ are made mandatory, the commands of men are taught as doctrines of God.
The example that Jesus used to show the Pharisees how they were guilty of teaching as doctrines the commands of men was the following example:
Mark 7:9-13 (HCSB)
9 He also said to them, “You completely invalidate God’s command in order to maintain your tradition! 10 For Moses said:
Honor your father and your mother;
and,
Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must be put to death.
11 But you say,
‘If a man tells his father or mother:
Whatever benefit you might have received from me is Corban ’ ” (that is, a gift [committed to the temple] ),
12 “you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother.13 You revoke God’s word by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many other similar things.”
I strongly believe we can apply this passage to ‘mandatory discipling partners’ in the following way:
9 He also said to them, “You completely invalidate God’s command in order to maintain your tradition! 10 For Jesus said:
34 “I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:34-35 (HCSB)
and the apostle John said:,
11 For this is the message you have heard from the beginning: we should love one another, – 1 John 3:10-11 (HCSB)
11 But you say,
‘If a man or woman will not submit to our man-made methodology of having a ‘discipling partner’,
12 “you no longer let him or her love his or her brothers and sisters in Christ (because they can’t be a member of the church anymore). Thus, .13 you revoke God’s word by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many other similar things.”
Matt 28:16-20 (HCSB)
16 The 11 disciples traveled to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had directed them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped, but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
When Jesus tells the apostles to teach others to observe everything that Jesus commanded them, He did not say anything about requiring every member to have a discipling partner. In fact, in this passage, it appears that teaching is in the same tense as baptizing which could indicate that part of making disciples is teaching them to observe everything Jesus commanded, just like part of making a disciple of Jesus is baptizing them. It does not appear that Jesus was stressing the idea that ‘a disciple of Jesus must ‘be willing to be taught how to obey’ but rather that everyone needs to be taught what Jesus commanded the apostles to do. But regardless of what Jesus meant by the above passage, we know with 100% certainty that He did not mean, ‘Everyone must have a discipling partner to be in the church’.
Not only does this passage not suggest anything about ‘mandatory discipling partners’, if we look at the first century church, there is no indication whatsoever that anything like mandatory discipling partners was practiced.
So some say that this teaching is only a methodology used to foster people having relationships with one another and to help obey the numerous ‘one another passages’. Here are some of those passages:
John 13:34-35 (HCSB)
34 “I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Heb 3:12-13 (HCSB)
12 Watch out, brothers, so that there won’t be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart that departs from the living God. 13 But encourage each other daily, while it is still called today, so that none of you is hardened by sin’s deception.
Gal 6:2 (HCSB)
2 Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
James 5:16 (HCSB)
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful.
I am in no way saying that Christians should not obey all of these one another passages. What I am saying is that the practice ‘discipling partners’ is not the only way to try to accomplish obeying the one another passages. (In fact, it only accomplish obeying the one another passages on one other person). But more seriously, when discipling partners are mandatory, it violates these very one another passages that are used to support the practice.